Learning Sex Ed, As a Grown-Ass Person, from Amy Schumer and Podcasts
Plus, traveling to Kenya in a new Tiny Histories episode
Amy Schumer had this great, totally bizarro skit—it’s a commercial about a new product for that moment when you approach someone at work to ask for a tampon in hushed tones and you need to create a diversion so that you can sneak to the bathroom without alerting your entire office to what you’re doing. The product is (of course!) a tampon cozy in a saxophone. You put the tampon in the sax and then play the horn loudly all the way to the bathroom, thereby creating a musical smokescreen re: you being on your period. Genius!
By the way, if I’ve never told you of my love for Amy Schumer, it’s only because I’ve been really busy yammering about other things. And part of the reason I love her is that she’s great at shining a light on things in women’s lives (and lots of other kinds of lives) that are not talked about for really dumb reasons. If you haven’t already, please see her docuseries, Expecting Amy. It’s really well done—you get a glimpse into Amy’s life and her working process (fascinating stuff), but also, I literally learned more about pregnancy complications and childbirth than I’ve ever learned from any one media source.
Which is great and all—go, Schumes—but it’s also really fucked up. Because you kind of can’t exist on Earth without pregnancy and childbirth. It’s how we ever get here. And personally, I’ve known many friends and family members who’ve had kids. Which begs the question: how did I get this far in life only to learn a major chunk of what I know about this topic and it’s attending issues from a comedian’s docuseries? Of course, there are lots of reasons that have to do with centuries of patriarchal oppression and complex religio-socio-economic structures, but I think that a big reason—and the need for the saxophone tampon holder—is the tacit agreement amongst a big chunk of the population that women’s downstairs problems are icky and complicated and best kept hush hush.
Which is PATENTLY INSANE since HALF THE WORLD has female body parts and are DIRECTLY AFFECTED by these issues throughout MOST OF THEIR LIVES.
Here’s a mind-blowing bit of information I came across in a New York Times article:
The average woman [and many menstruating trans and non-binary person] has her period for 2,535 days of her life. That’s nearly seven years’ time of making sure you have a pad or tampon, finding a makeshift solution if you don’t, and managing pain and discomfort.
And that brings me to the topic of the latest episode of the Tiny Histories podcast. I found out about the organization Days for Girls when I was audio engineering an episode of the Sew and Tell podcast featuring DfG’s founder and CEO Celeste Mergens. Sometimes when I’m monitoring a recording, TBH, I check out a little. I watch the audio waves scrolling across the screen out of the corner of my eye as I check my email and what have you. This time though, I found myself glued to the recording as Celeste blew my freaking mind with information I’d never heard before: Over 500 million people globally don’t have the things they need to deal with their periods. A lot of them resort to using their bodies as currency to get those supplies. They lose days of school and sometimes the ability to provide for themselves. Many many lives are irrevocably altered because of this one tiny thing. And that’s not even the whole problem—a lot of them don’t know what’s going on with their bodies because they live in places where it is culturally unacceptable to talk about periods.
To give you an idea of what “500 million” means, check this out: That’s the entire population of the United States, Canada, and Mexico COMBINED. And many of those 500 million people, by the way, are right here in the US.
But! Days for Girls and other orgs working for period equity are on a mission to change this state of affairs by providing supplies and education to people who need menstrual supplies and education around the world. And the impact of having this one little thing is incredibly positive. And (!) it’s something with which you can help even if you have zero dollars.
After the podcast recording, I beeped Celeste who very kindly connected me with two women in Kenya—a mother and daughter—who work for Days for Girls. They told me their personal stories, what their lives were like before their encounters with DfG, and how now, because of their own life-changing experiences, it’s their respective missions in life to provide others with access to these products.
It’s one of the most inspiring stories I’ve ever heard—the furthest thing from icky. Give it a listen and then tell everyone in your office about it while playing the saxophone on the way to the bathroom.